Weekly Snape-ly Event #3

You may or may not have heard of it, but there's this new thing called Magic is Might.

It's basically an Interactive Alternate-Universe online newspaper, and acts as if we're in the time slot that's the last four months of Deathly Hallows. It'll last until Deathly Hallows Part 2 comes out. Anyway, here's the part where Snape comes into this. Pretty much all of the characters that are still alive at this time (The Death Eaters, Hogwarts teachers, students, etc.) have their own official MiM facebook accounts, and you guessed it, Severus Snape has the most likes, with over 1,000.

Now, I have had multiple conversations with Severus Snape, and it feel so awesome to be talking to him. He, as well as the other MiM people, stay in character so well, it feels like you're actually talking to them...  So I consider him to be the real Snape.

Here is one of the conversations I've had with Severus Snape:

Severus Snape (MiM)

Quickly, everybody, hit the "like" button.

This is a social experiment. I'm curious to see if I have the following to take over for the Dark Lord if he ever decides to retire. Every Master of the Universe needs an heir, doesn't he?

• • Me: I'd very much prefer you as our leader than the Dark Lord...
  • Lord Voldemort (MiM) RETIRE? Such WIT, you have, Severus. Your dry sense of humour may get you into trouble someday.
  • Bellatrix Lestrange (MiM) Bad Severus. No cookies for you. *dislike* *dislike* *dislike* *dislike* *dislike* *dislike* *dislike* *dislike* *dislike* *dislike* *dislike* *dislike*
  • Severus Snape (MiM) I'm so glad you enjoy my sense of humour, My Lord. (I really just wanted to see how many people would hit the like button).
  • Lord Voldemort (MiM) Is that so? Curiosity killed the Death Eater, you know. Or at least Crucio'd him.
  • Me: Considering the fact that Severus here has about 100 more followers than you, my Lord, you might have better luck if you invested in a new nose... and a wig. And also some lotion... btw do you even have a bellybutton?
  • Bellatrix Lestrange (MiM) I think someone here is looking to be Crucio'd even more than Severus.
  • Lord Voldemort (MiM) Don't tell me you aren't attracted, Lori. You are obviously obsessed with my body.
  • Me: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... ew. Seriously, Professor Snape has long, dark hair, which is extremely sexy, and you have none. He has a large, angular, convex, hooked nose, which is also somehow sexy to me... and once again, you have none. A...nd his voice... well, I'm not gonna get into detail about the effect his voice has. Yours is just creepy. But you know, your 16-year-old self was pretty hot... too bad you had to go through the whole transformation thing. And you still didn't answer my question, Do you have a bellybutton?! I really want to know.

    Lord Voldemort (MiM) You call greasy hair and sallow skin sexy compared to myLord Voldemort (MiM) You call greasy hair and sallow skin sexy compared to my immortal snake-like form? (No offence, Severus.) I traded looking 'normal' for power, which is infinitely more attractive than physical appearance, though I consider myself physically beautiful in all my dark glory. If you are that curious about the bellybutton, I can show you in person.
  • Bellatrix Lestrange (MiM) Master.... ~pouts~ you don't want to show HER... she's not worthy... really.
  • Me: Er... I'd rather not. It's just that the whole "re-birth" thing in the graveyard didn't involve an umbilical cord, so I didn't think you'd have a bellybutton. And while I agree that power is infinitely attractive, Severus has more than enough physical sexiness to account for it. Besides, he has infinite power... over my hormones.
  • Severus Snape (MiM) Merlin, people. This certainly wasn't meant to start a sparring match between all of you and the Dark Lord. I was just messing with your heads.
    
    Please, when you are on my wall show the utmost respect for the Dark Lord.
  • Bellatrix Lestrange (MiM) Oh look... Severus has a bit of sense, after all. How surprising.
  • Me:  Eh, well how often you get to say you've had an argument with the Dark Lord and lived? Lord Voldemort (MiM) You have a point

I got rid of all the posts not made by me, Severus, Lord Voldemort, or Bellatrix, because they didn't matter. Things can get pretty hilarious on facebook with them.

 

So far, I've won 1,000 points for Slytherin from Snape for making him laugh out loud(Yeah, I didn't know he could laugh either).

 

Also, I posted about this blog on his wall and he actually shared it as a status with the exact words: "A blog all about me... What could possibly be more fascinating?" I think I'm one of his favorite students so far.

 

If you haven't done so already, go like his page! http://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=176012839112275&id=173239769389582#!/pages/Severus-Snape-MiM/173239769389582

Snape Picture of the Week #3

I'm trying to keep a good balance of sexy, sad, and hilarious pictures on here. This is one of the hilarious ones.

Believe it or not(but you probably do), there are A LOT of "Snape Swagger" pictures. But I decided to use this one.

So as you probably noticed, the original pictures were from the Philosopher's Stone, during Harry's first Potions class. And we all can remember too well how Professor Snape started to stand up and slide his hands across his chest suggestively, only to pull his cape inward and fold his arms. I always wondered if the director had him do that on purpose, or if it was Rickman's own idea. Either way, I'm glad they did.

How To Be Like Snape #3

Dress Like Snape
How are you supposed to put off that dark, evilish aura without the right clothes?

For starters, Snape wears a high-neck jacket with a lot of buttons. No one should be able to see your neck, or really any of your body. To compensate for that, his outfit it really tight. Now, we've really never seen what is under that jacket, but I imagine it's just a black button-up shirt. And then of course, the black underpants and dragon hide boots. And during potions class, he wears dragon hide gloves.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, he has a long, billowing cape. It has to extend to the floor, and still have a couple feet left to drag on the floor. There's nothing sexier than Snape sauntering down the corridors of Hogwarts, his cape billowing behind him.

If you don't own anything of this sort, it's fine if the best you can do is just wear all black. When you're a huge black spot in the middle of a vibrantly colored street(or hallway, whatever), people have no choice to to be slightly intimidated. Your demeanor should be enough to ruin everyone's day, but also attract a lot of people, because darkness is sexy.

But still, it's good to have a long, black cloak, at least. It shouldn't be that expensive. It's pretty much just a long jacket.

Either way, remember; black is everything.

Fanfiction Friday #3

This week, I present you with a humor fic! It's called Here Comes the Snake, and is technically a Snape/Hermione fic, but it's mostly about Snape trying to protect his balls.

It's actually pretty hilarious, and well thought-out. I can tell the author put a lot of thinking into the plot... even though it's not much of a plot.

For those of you who are like me, and cry profusely at a good Snape/Lily story(but love to read them nevertheless), then this story is good comic relief. It's only 2 chapters, so it's not too long, it has enough Snape in it to satisfy your needs, and not too much Snape/Hermione, so you Hardcore Snily Shippers won't feel bad for reading it.

The Link is Property of The Half-Blood Prince: http://www.ashwinder.sycophanthex.com/viewstory.php?sid=5788

Snape Quote of the Week #2

"Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business."
"Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git."
"Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor."
"Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball." -The Prisoner of Azkaban, Ch. 14

This is from when Snape finds Harry wandering in the hallways, and sees the Marauder's Map, but doesn't know what it is. Now, this quote makes me really mad, because I completely disagree with every one of those statements. While he does have an abnormally large nose, it's awesome(and sexy) and has every right to be in other people's business! And he is definitely NOT an ugly git! They're just jealous of how unconventionally sexy he his. Third, he is far from being an idiot! He's obviously such a genius... I mean, he had to be to invent his own freaking spells! And as for his hair, it's not his fault! He just has naturally greasy hair! I'm sure he takes a shower everyday, but there's nothing he can do about it!

It's also sort of sad, because that was the basis of all of Snape's childhood bullying, so I can't even imagine how mad he felt about that.

Also, Harry later finds out that those were the nicknames of his dad and his friends, so how did he not put it together and realize that Snape was teased by James, Sirius, and Lupin? Did he think Snape must have done something to deserve it? Ugh... either way, that makes me mad.

Snape Insults YOU #2

This week, I picked the obvious.

Snape insults Justin Bieber

"I understand, Miss Bieber, that yesterday was your birthday... however, no one cares. How old are you now... seven? I'm afraid- no, actually, I'm quite glad that you must take the Hogwarts Express back to fairyland, along with Diggory, as sparkling in the corridors is quite against the rules. Actually, perhaps you should take up residence in the Forbidden Forest... There are many fairies in there, Miss Bieber. *cough cough*and werewolves*cough cough* You might want to add a couple dragon testicles to that growth potion, Bieber. Your voice could use it. And what kind of haircut is that?! Why don't you let it grow out, so it can be like mine? *hair whip*"

Snape Video of the Week #2

The Snape Song

This has got to be one of the best videos EVER.

Even though it doesn't rhyme, doesn't have original music, and isn't even really a song, it's the kind of thing you just have to watch over and over again until you memorize it. At least, that's what I did. ^_^

But there's no way you could watch this just once... In fact, I wish they had this on iTunes.

Bottle fame, Bottle fame... Boomslang skin? Bottle fame, Bottle fame... Lacewing flies?

Speaking of which, he shouldn't care about the lacewing flies, because according to Hermione in CS, you can those in the student cupboard.