Weekly Snape-ly Event #2

Moviefone blogged this earlier today, and it's EPIC. It might mostly be a video, but it's the closest I could find to anything Snape-related.

I can't directly put the video on here, but here's the link: http://blog.moviefone.com/2011/02/25/alan-rickman-villains-insults/

While he his a sarcastic badass, I must point out that Snape is NOT evil... well, he was. And he still sorta is, but that's just the 'hating James Potter' coming out. The good in him wins in the end...

But seriously, I think J.K. Rowling had Alan Rickman in mind when she wrote about Snape... can you actually imagine anyone else playing him? He already had the 'bad guy that's really just misunderstood' persona, a huge nose, and a voice like cold silk. And I could spend a LOT of time listing all the similarities and references to Snape and Alan Rickman's other characters, but I don't feel like it.

Snape Picture of the Week #2

This picture made me FREAKING CRY :'( It's so true... he was so brave. And some might say he was sorted into the wrong House, but he was probably as difficult to Sort as Harry, if not more. He was determined, ambitious, cunning, and had bad intentions at first... and was also extremely brave and willing to die for what he loved, VERY loyal, and was freakin' genious. I mean, he invented his own spells! And for them to work, you didn't even have to know what they did, let alone focus.

I'm pretty sure the picture is from The Half-Blood Prince, when Snape is about to kill Dumbledore. I think it conveys perfectly the emotions he's going through not just then, but all through the series. So sad...

How To Be Like Snape #2

Facial Expressions
Snape makes a lot of distinct facial expressions, and never ventures out of that realm. If he were to smile, it would disrupt the Space-Time Continuum. Or the Snape-Time Continuum.

Calm
When nothing in particular is bothering Snape, he still looks quite perturbed... because he is. Something's always annoying him, and he's got horrific memories engraved in his mind. Keep your lips pursed, but only slightly. You don't want to look like you're always about to kiss someone. Your brow should be furrowed, but not so much that you really seem mad. Your eyes should be half-closed, but relaxed, not squinted. But even when they're calm, they should be able to strike fear into the hearts of many. They should be cold, and remind you of dark tunnels. Now, Snape is using this expression most of the time, as he hides his true emotions... That is, unless he needs to get a point across. This is his calm face:

Angry
Ahh, my favorite Snape emotion! He's the kind of guy that makes you want to get him angry, because it's sexy. But to the people he's angry at, namely students, it's also quite scary. For Snape to actually show that he's angry and not hide it, he has to be pretty angry. At the least, you should snarl up your lip, but try not to show your teeth. In some instances, anger can coincide with just being extremely annoyed, in which he's still pursing his lips, but sort of sucking inward. It's hard to explain, so here's his extremely annoyed face:

Anyway, his scowl is legendary. You only see it when he's really mad, and it's important you get it perfect. Furrow your brow as far as it can go, and force the edges of your bottom lip downward. Your eyes should only be slightly more open than normally, but others need to see the anger in them. They're peircing, scrutinizing, and freaking scary. Also, flare your nostrils.

Okay, so I couldn't find a good picture of Snape angry, so I'm using the Sheriff of Nottingham instead. Close enough.

Sad
We hardly ever see this emotion out of him, and I'm glad we don't, because the sight of Snape full of sorrow is absolutely heartbreaking. Obviously, if you're trying to be like Snape, you're never going to show if you're sad in public... unless it's impossible not to. When Snape is sad, or is struck with horrible memories that haunt him, his eyes'll get visibly softer, and he'll relax every muscle on his face, even his lips. This is the farthest it'll go if there are people around, but if it's bad enough and he's alone, it's almost as frightening as seeing him angry. Every muscle on your face would be strained, and your mouth would be contorted into a horrible, agonizing shape. It hurts to describe this, so here's pictures.
Sort-of sad:

But we've never seen him actually crying, so no picture for that.

Happy

Despite what you may have heard, Snape can be happy... but evilly happy. However, he doesn't express it normally. For him, a smile is unfurrowing his brow and softening his eyes a bit, and pushing his cheekbones outward and upward. But still, your lips are pursed. It feels like you're smiling, but others can't see it. If you feel deliciously evil, you can grin out of one side of your mouth. Snape's grin:

He looks so badass... and sexy. But just for fun, here's what he looks like laughing:

It sort of creeps you out... doesn't it? But remember, he would never actually laugh. He would also never let anyone see a genuine smile... You should never genuinely smile unless thinking of a certain person you're in love with that died... or they could still be alive, whatever.

Okay, and I know you don't choose what face you're born with, but this is a lot easier if you have thickly defined lips and dark eyes... and a huge nose. It just helps. Each and every expression he makes has a much bigger meaning behind it, and it would be impossible to explain it all in one blog. So, I suggest you watch the movies reapeatedly until you've perfected it.

Fanfiction Friday #2

This fanfiction is called The Closet, and is a Snape/Hermione fic. While I do prefer Snape/Lily(obviously), and know that Snape would never be with anyone but Lily, him and Hermione is fun to read. And it does sort of make sense. Hermione is a lot like Lily in some ways, like how she's smart and always happy and really kind, and she's always ready to defend him, unlike the others.

Anyway, it's a one-shot about Snape and Hermione being locked in a closet together... and you'll have to read the rest. For some reason, I feel like it could've actually happened- if Lily never existed, anyway. And even though the grammar isn't too good, it's sweet and funny and I command you to turn to page 394 and read it. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2258315/1/The_Closet

Snape Quote of the Week #1

Every Thursday, there will be a random quote from any of the books either said by Snape or about Snape.

"Potter attacked me, sir-"
"We attacked each other at the same time!" Harry shouted.
"-and he hit Goyle- look-"
Snape examined Goyle, whose face now resembled something that would have been at home in a book on poisonous fungi.
"Hospital wing, Goyle," Snape said calmly.
"Malfot got Hermione!" Ron said. "Look!"
He forced Hermione to show Snape her teeth- she was doing the best to hide them with her hands, though this was difficult as they had now grown down past her collar. Pansy Parkinson and the other Slytherin girls were doubled up with silent giggles, pointing at Hermione behind Snape's back.
Snape looked coldly at Hermione, then said, "I see no difference."
Hermione let out a wimper; her eyes filled with tears, she turned on her heel and ran, ran all the way up the corridor and out of sight."

Snape is always really sarcastic and mean, especially to Harry, but this was just awesome. You know that rather than getting frustrated with how incompetent students are or being angry with Harry for acting so much like James, this is actually one of those times that Snape is saying something like that just for the sake of being mean. He had no reason for it; there was no educational or Lily-related purpose behind it... it was just mean. Really mean. Mean enough to make Hermione cry, and to have Harry actually want to Crucio him. I honestly wonder why, though... he can't hate Hermione that much. Or maybe he does... she gets pretty annoying. But I also wonder if he was pleased to see her crying and running away, or possibly he liked her(since she's a lot like Lily in some ways), and was saying that to cover it up. Either way, it sucks that this scene wasn't in the movie. It would've been hilarious.

Snape Insults YOU #1

This is a weekly post in which I pick a person I hate, whether it be an actor, band, movie/tv character, etc., and Snape insults them until they cry.

This Week: Snape insults Rachel from Glee

"That's funny, Miss Berry... I don't recall asking you to break everyone's eardrums beyond repair in the middle of my class. That's twenty points from Hufflepuff and detention for the rest of this week... My God, you call that singing? I'm sorry, maybe I didn't hear you right, maybe it'll sound better if I let Buckbeak gouge out my ears as well as all the other students. I'm sure it would be the preferred choice, rather than listen to those screams of agony... Oh, it's not supposed to be screaming? You might fit in better with the merpeople in the Lake, then. They share your taste in music. And while you're at it, Miss Berry, you can drop the Potter-attitude, I have enough of it in my other class. It's not all about you, you insolent little prat! Who cares if you don't think your situation is fair? Because in case it has escaped your notice, Miss Berry, life isn't fair. Now leave my classroom at once and don't return until you've found yourself some Felix Felicis or learned how to hold a note. Now, if you excuse me, I have a lunch date with Sue."

Snape Video of the Week #1

You might be asking yourself, "What do they mean, 'Snape Video'?" Well, I mean any videos having to do with Snape, you dunderhead. And if you haven't heard of Wizard Rock, come out of the Chambers you've been hiding in for centuries(How do you even get internet reception down there?), because a lot of the Snape Videos will be Wizard Rock songs. Basically, it's a genre of music all about the Harry Potter Universe.

Any way, here's this week's video!

It's called 'The Hero Pt. 2-Ministry of Magic-Severus Snape, and was made by boushh2187
It has the song "The Hero Pt. 2" from Ministry of Magic's new album, Magic is Might, and was made for their music video contest.

I absolutely LOVE this song, but love it even more with this video. All the clips are in perfect sync with the music, and fit the lyrics SO much... It's just a little deeper insight on Snape killing Dumbledore from Snape's point of view. We know he struggled so much, and it's heartbreaking, to say the least.

Weekly Snape-ly Event #1

If this day hadn't landed on a Monday, I still would have posted about it today.

It's Alan Rickman's Birthday!!!

Yes, Alan Rickman, the sexiest man in the world who portrays Severus Snape, turns 65 today. This is the closest thing we can get to Snape's birthday(which was January 9th), but Snape himself would've already been 51 this year...if he hadn't died :'(

This is the most recent picture of him available to the public:

I really think he should get extensions and dye his hair black, though, The Snape hairstyle is awesome.

And this is the youngest picture of him that I could find:

He's about 32 in that picture... Yeah, I know. Wow.

Well, I don't know about you, but I'll be celebrating his birthday by watching Harry Potter as well as other Alan Rickman movies. Once Again, Happy Birthday Alan ! You're the greatest actor that ever lived!

Snape Picture of the Week #1

I really shouldn't have to explain this, but every Sunday I'll post a picture of Snape and my opinion on it. It might be a movie still, a meme, etc.

This is from The Philosopher's Stone('Sorcerer's Stone' in U.S.) during Harry's first Quidditch match. It's before Harry's broom starts going out of control, when the camera is just panning over the Proffesors' Box for theatrical purposes. I think it's important they did that, because it gives us a few seconds worth of Snape, who looks pretty suspicious in this still. He looks like he's anticipating something, and makes us wonder what he's up to. That makes it easier for us to believe he was the one cursing Harry and then feel sorry later for blaming him when we find out it was Quirrel. Speaking of which, if you pay close attention in that scene, Quirrel's not even paying attention, so wtf?
Either way, I love this picture because we get to see Snape in a scarf and his hair blowing in his face, which makes him even SEXIER... How is that even possible?

How To Be Like Snape #1

Every Saturday, there will be a post with tips on, you guessed it, how to be like Snape. Now, it's not "How to be Snape", because no one but Snape can actually be Snape. You'll just have to try your best to be like him. Each week will have a different aspect of Snape, because you can't teach someone how to be like Snape in one day.

This Week:  Walk like Snape

You can tell a lot about a person by the way they walk, and Snape walks knowing how people will judge him by it.

1. Your stride
When you walk, take long strides. Make it a point to step as far as possible without looking like you're trying to, but don't try to take too long of a stride. You'll either fall down or just look stupid, and Snape does neither of those things. Just go as far as you can. Your knees should only come up to halfway between where it normally is and your hip when you take a stride. Also, walk as fast as you can without running. If you're in a middle school, highschool, or college, you'll notice that everyone else seems to be taking really small strides and walking slow so they can talk to their friends. Well, Snape doesn't have any friends, so he doesn't do that. If you need to, maneuver around people. Think two steps ahead(pun intended) about where they'll be, and make a quick side-step that'll make you look both psychic and ninja-ish. Make sure your maneuvering steps are long strides as well, and you step to your toes. Stepping to your toes makes it easy to swivel and turn a different way if you need to.

2. Your arms
Don't swing your arms as much as others do; it makes the whole "long and fast strides" thing useless. It makes you look immature and you might hit someone in the face. The arm-shoulder angle shouldn't be any more than your leg-hip angle. However, it is important that you do swing your arms somewhat. If you're wearing a backpack, don't hold onto the straps, and try not to carry anything in your hands when you walk, except maybe a book or the hair of an insolent student. Having empty hands subconsciously makes everyone slightly more intimidated. It sort of gives them the feeling that you could punch or choke them at any second, and that you're willing to. (Trust me, I'm taking psychology. Besides, that's what Snape does!) If you notice someone you particularly hate while walking, don't be afraid to let your fist ball up, in case they might notice. Also, if you're heading toward a door to exit or enter someplace, hold your arm out in front of you to open it a second before you get there, so you don't have to stop.

3. Your posture
When walking, the last thing you want to do if you're trying to be like Snape is hunch over. You need to look confident when you walk, not depressed or insecure. (Well, actually, Snape's extremely depressed, but doesn't show it, obviously... especially not when he's walking!) Keep your torso as straight as possible, and chest in-line with your stomach and hips, instead of outward, like most would tell you. Suck in your gut if you're not thin, because Snape is tall and skinny. That's mainly why it's important to do these things. Don't raise your shoulders, because it's obvious, and it pushes your torso outward. Lastly, make sure not to turn your body to the left slightly when you step to the left, and vice versa. Keep your entire body facing forward when you walk, and step directly in front of where you stepped before(unless you're turning or maneuvering).

4. Your head/face
Like the rest of your body, your head should face forward the entire time you walk, unless you're changing directions. Don't turn to look at others or make eye contact with anyone. You should also keep your head perfectly aligned with your body and not crane your neck. Don't hold your head too high, or you'll look like Narcissa Malfoy, and this isn't a Narcissa blog. I don't even know if that exists. Anyway, retain the same facial expression the entire time you're walking: a scowl. Try not to look too pissed off, because you're not. You're just generally annoyed with all existence, mainly other people. Keep your brow furrowed and your lips pursed. Don't open your mouth unless you see something that particularly disgusts or annoys you, and you feel the need to snarl your lip.(There'll be more on facial expressions in a future HTBLS) Even though you're making it seem like you're not, do pay attention to what's going on around you. If someone starts staring at you, give them an evil glare without stopping, and they'll look away and feel embarrassed. If your hair gets in your eyes or somehow annoys you, jerk your head to flip it. Don't use your hands unless absolutely necessary. That tells everyone, "I'm too busy walking to even bother using my hands to flip my hair, so I'll just make it do exactly what I want with a simple head jerk. Also my hair's awesomer than yours."

All of these combined will put off a very Snape-ish aura. If you do it right, you'll be walking in a way that says, "I'm more important than all of you. You don't matter to me, nor does what you think of me. I hate every single one of you, whether I know you or not, as well as life. But I only care about mine(and possibly a select other few's), and right now my life requires me to go somewhere that I wasn't before. So don't look at me, don't come near me, don't expect me to acknowledge your existence, and don't expect me to care that I just accidentally bumped into you, because it's your fault."

Also, the Snape-style of walking is much more effective with a billowing cape.

Fanfiction Friday #1

This is the first real post on this blog, as well as the first Fanfiction Friday! Oh hey, I just alliterated! Anyway, on Fanfiction Fridays, I will be suggesting a Snape fanfiction that I've read, review it, and add possible fanart.

Since this is the first FF, I'll start off suggesting my own! Horray for self-absorbedness!

It's called Severus Snape and Vesperra D'monicas. Vesperra D'Monicas is an Original Character that I made up a long time ago, but not originally for this fanfic. I wanted a good name for a demon, and I had a book of 1000 baby names, so I found it and thought it was awesome.

Anyway, this isn't a romance, because Vesperra is only a First-Year. Well, for now, at least. I hope to continue this into their 7th year and that'l be a lot of chapters from now. It is currently on the 4th chapter, and isn't even at Halloween yet. So, it's a friendship type thing, and there's a lot of Snape/Lily background. Obviously, I'm not going to tell you anything less than "it's awesome", because I'm the author. But I try to see it from a reader's point of view, and it's sweet, sad, funny, and I really think you should read it! (Plus, if you've seen A Very Potter Musical and/or Sequel, you'll recognize some Starkid references!)

At some point during my writing, I decided to draw what Vesperra would look like. So here it is:

In the first chapter, I described her(in Snape's mind) as having dirty blonde hair with reddish tints, greyish-green eyes, and a convex, slightly downturned nose. Also, her hair is naturally greasy(like a certain person I know...). This is her annoyed face... Well, this is her face most of the time. Unless she's too angry to handle.

I'm not going to give away any more, so here's the link, now go read it. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6631189/1/Severus_Snape_and_Vesperra_DMonicas_Ch_1
Do not. Disappoint me.

Welcome to Snape's Chambers

I am Snape, the Potions Master. I will be addressed as Professor Snape, or ten points from Gryffindor, no matter what House you're in.

This blog will be updated everyday with a topic corresponding to the day of the week.
Monday: Weekly Snape-ly Event
Tuesday: Snape Video of the Week
Wednesday: Snape Insults YOU
Thursday: Snape Quote of the Week
Friday: Fanfiction Friday
Saturday: How to be Like Snape
Sunday: Snape Picture of the Week

Also, if there's any important Snape news, I will most likely blog about it in addition to that day's normal blog. Alas, the intro is over.