Fanfiction Friday #20

I thought I'd mix things up a bit (a tiny bit) this week. The fic I have to share with you is not a Snape fic, but a Galaxy Quest fic about Alexander Dane (who is played by Alan Rickman). Close enough. It's called By Grabthar's Hammer.

But the main reason I'm sharing it is because I wrote it, and I want more people to read it. It's a one-shot (although it's long), and is rated M because of highly sexual situations. All the information is in the Author's Note.

If you like Alan Rickman and Galaxy Quest, you should totally read it. I don't see any reason why you shouldn't... unless you're too young to read sexual stuff.

Three turns of the Tme-Turner ought to do it... And it brings you back to the time that you clicked this link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7129419/1/By_Grabthars_Hammer

Snape Quote of the Week #19

  "...don't see what all the fuss is about, Igor."
  "Severus, you cannot pretend this isn't happening!" Karkaroff's voice sounded anxious and hished, as though keen not to be overheard. "It's been getting clearer and clearer for months. I am becoming seriously concerned, I can't deny it--"
  "Then flee," said Snape's voice curtly. "Flee--I will make your excuses. I, however, am remaining at Hogwarts."
  Snape and Karkaroff came around the corner. Snape had his wand out and was blasting rosebushes apart, his expression most ill-natured. Squeals issued from many of the bushes, and dark shapes emerged from them.
  "Ten points from Ravenclaw, Fawcett!" Snape snarled as a girl ran past him. "And ten points from Hufflepuff too, Stebbins!" as a boy went rushing after her. "And what are you two doing?" he added, catching sight of Harry and Ron on the path ahead. Karkaroff, Harry saw, looked slightly discomposed to see them standing there. His hand went nervously to his goatee, and he began winding it around his finger.
  "We're walking," Ron told Snape shortly. "Not against the law, is it?"
  "Keep walking, then!" Snape snarled, and he brushed past them, his long black cloak billowing behind him. Karkaroff hurried away after Snape. Harry and Ron continued down the path.
  "What's got Karkaroff all worried?" Ron muttered.
  "And since when have he and Snape been on first-name terms?" said Harry slowly.
~Goblet of Fire, Ch. 23 'The Yule Ball'

This is going to be another one of those quotes that I break down and analyze.

The first part is in the film adaptation, and I'm disappointed that they didn't include all of it. But it's also one of the things that I can easily imagine him saying in my head... mostly because it's in a famous Snape remix and I've heard it a lot. But also, this has got to really suck for Snape, because he knows Voldemort's coming back, and he knows he's going to have to go back to being a part-time Death Eater soon... It must have been really stressful. It's a miracle he's sane.

And then when he's blasting apart rosebushes... Only hilarity can ensue from that. I can just imagine some teenagers popping out of the bushes going, "We we'ren't making out I swear!" Lol. And now that I think about it, how can you snog in a rosebush? You'd have to lay inside the bush... but wouldn't that hurt because of the thorns? And why are these people making out in bushes anyway? Why not behind a tree or on a bench? Well, you know I'd ask Snape to snog me in a rosebush... The thorns would be worth it.

So when Snape has been blasting snogging teenagers out of bushes and then suddenly sees Harry and Ron, I bet his first thought is, Are they coming out here to snog too? That's what I would have thought... I have a dirty mind. But actually, I don't ship Harry/Ron and I never will. Ron always struck me as the sort of guy who'd be homophobic. Besides, they're just don't have that kind of bromance. Harry/Draco works because they're enemies, and the person you initially dislike usually ends up with you. And really, I can't see Ron with anyone but Hermione. Except maybe Luna... but definitely not Snape. Because Ron/Snape = Rape.

Anyway, Karkaroff twirling his goatee with his finger automatically makes me think of Jafar from Alladin... Karkaroff could totally be Jafar. If Lucius gives him his snake-head staff thing, they'd practically be the same person.

I guess that's it... But just one more thing. I always love reading the Yule Ball chapter because despite the fact that I've never been to a dance and never have, I'd definitely go to the Yule Ball. I mean, it's much better when you're at mother-effing-Hogwarts! And I would ask Snape... I wouldn't make him dance, though, because I hate to dance and I know he would, too... But if he wanted to, I wouldn't mind.

Update: Snape Insults YOU is Disbanded

I'm sorry if you like Snape Insults YOU, but I honestly don't. I mean, they were fun at first, but I literally have no more ideas. And they were always sort of cheesy anyways. SIY is literally what made Wednesdays my least favorite day of the week.

I don't keep up to date with pop culture, so after the obvious (Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, etc...), I really don't know enough about anyone else to insult them.

Besides, I don't have many fans reading this, anyways. So henceforth, I'm making Wednesdays my lazy days, where I don't do a post. Or maybe I can replace it with something, like I did with How To Be Like Snape.

If enough people give me feedback saying they want to continue SIY, I will. But I'd like some suggestions on who to insult, at least.

Snape Video of the Week #19

Potter Puppet Pals- Potions Class

A video to go along with last week's Snape Quote. This was the very first PPP video... it was even before they had the set. See, they're using a couch in that.

But I love this, because they use the direct quote... and then add stuff. But trust me, Snape doesn't need a potion to score with hot babes. XD

Weekly Snape-ly Event #19

This is more Alan Rickman news, but we all love Alan Rickman, don't we?

Anyway, I have two bits of Rickman news. You may already know them, but it's all I got. Now, you probably know that he's currently filming for the movie Gambit, which is scheduled to be released in 2012. Well, there'll be a scene where Alan is completely naked. In a glass box.

This is taken directly from http://www.arickman.com/ :

Alan Rickman is starring in the Coen Brothers’ remake of the 60s film Gambit, starring alongside Cameron Diaz. It will involve a scene with him naked in a glass box.
Hey, if I want to see a cock behind glass I’ll go and try to get good service in the Post Office.
But I’m actually looking forward to seeing Rickman in the nude; it will finally test what people say about men with big noses. If it’s true what they say, seeing Alan naked will be like seeing a man try to shop-lift a pink draught excluder.
And this is where his genius shows through. Most male actors worry about the cold during a nude scene leading to some embarrassing shrinkage. Rickman gets naked in what is effectively a greenhouse.
The glass box is currently being constructed in a top secret location. Why the secrecy? I think it’s because he’s paying to have magnifying glass built in to aid the natural look.
So he has the warmth, the refracting lens and the big nose affect all helping him look larger down there. And if that isn’t enough… Cameron Diaz will be in the room. He’ll he fine.

Thank God we all get to see Alan naked before the world ends... (And just so you know, I''m joking. The world obviously can't end in 2012, because Harry Potter takes his kids to Platform 9 and 3/4 in 2017. Duh.)

Also, Alan is going to be at the U.S. Premiere of Deathly Hallows Part 2, which is on July 11, at Avery Fisher Hall,

Columbus Avenue

at

West 65th Street, New York NY. Unfortunately, I can't be there, because I'm 14 and don't live anywhere near New York. >_<

For anyone who does go, give him a huge hug for me. And a kiss.

Snape Picture of the Week #19

I decided to do a screencap today, because I haven't done one since the first SPotW. As you probably know, this is from Deathly Hallows Part 2, and was in the original trailer.

Now, I'm assuming we've all read the books (and if you haven't, get the hell out of here), so I don't do the whole *SPOILERS* thing. So anyway, I'm pretty sure this is where Snape dies. :'(

I'm about to contradict myself and say that there'll be Spoilers ahead, but it's only for the people that don't want to know how the stupid directors changed events in the book before watching the movie. So yeah, *SPOILERS*.

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I could have just had some boring asterisks, but I did something awesome with them. Never deny the power of asterisks. And yes, I know the V looks weird. I couldn't fix it. Anyway, they're having Snape die in a glass house near the lake instead of the Shrieking Shack. So that pretty much proves that this is his death scene.

And as sad as this makes me, that's a pretty sexy position he's in. It looks like he's all, "Let's do it on the table..." Or whatever that is... a bench, maybe? I'm not sure. Whatever it is, I would gladly do him on it.

Snape Products You Should Totally Buy #5

A Snape fan isn't a Snape fan without a Snape shirt.

There's just... so... many...

I think the one I would most want is this one:

Which you can buy here: http://www.wbshop.com/on/demandware.store/Sites-WB-Site/default/Product-Show?pid=HPTVT14W&affiliate=froogle&src=FRGL

I mean, to have his face on your chest...

And of course, there's lots of others. But you need to get one. Or more.