Snape Quote of the Week #20

  "It has happened," [McGonagall] told the silent staff room. "A student has been taken by the monster. Right into the Chamber itself."
  Professor Flitwick let out a squeal. Professor Sprout clapped her hands over her mouth. Snape gripped the back of a chair very hard and said, "How can you be sure?"
...
  The staffroom door banged open again. For one wild moment, Harry was sure it would be Dumbledore. But it was Lockhart, and he was beaming.
  "So sorry--dozed off--what have I missed?"
  He didn't seem to notice that the other teachers were looking at him with something remarkably like hatred. Snape stepped forward.
  "Just the man," he said. "The very man. A girl has been snatched by the monster, Lockhart. Taken into the Chamber of Secrets itself. Your moment has come at last."
  Lockhart blanched.
  "That's right, Gilderoy," chipped in Professor Sprout. "Weren't you saying just last night you've known all along where the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets is?"
  "I--well, I--" sputtered Lockhart.
  "Yes, didn't you tell me you were sure you knew what was inside it?" piped up Professor Flitwick.
  "D-did I? I don' recall--"
  "I certainly remember you saying you were sorry you hadn't had a crack at the monster before Hagrid was arrested," said Snape. "Didn't you say that the whole affair had been bungled, and that you should have been given a free rein from the first?"
~The Chamber of Secrets, Ch. 16 "The Chamber of Secrets"

I split this because I thought the parts in between were unimportant. The only reason I even included the first thing is because it got me curious... Isn't that a bit out of character for Snape? He doesn't often display fear... he usually keeps it cool. I'd figure that he'd get stony-faced at the most.

So what's got Snape so nervous? Do you suppose that there's a... specific girl he's worried about? J.K. Rowling said that she's going to reveal more information on the characters in Pottermore... Maybe there was someone besides Lily that Snape cared about. Who knows, maybe Rowling didn't intend any deeper meaning with this. But I'm going to interpret it that way.

And then the rest of it... is just hilarious. I've always hated Lockhart. From the moment he was introduced in Flourish and Blotts, I was like, "Ugh, he's such a pompous prat." And seeing Snape make snide remarks to him is awesome.

Snape Video of the Week #20

Deathly Hallows Part 2- Snape vs. Potter

This clip was released yesterday. I usually hate when they have scenes in the movie that never even happened in the book, but this looks like it's gonna be awesome. Even if it includes plot holes.

As usual, I practically fainted at the sound of Alan Rickman's voice. Luckily, I didn't, so I could watch the rest of it.

Weekly Snape-ly Event #20

Happy Fourth of July! But that has nothing to do with Snape, so no one cares.

You know, I might as well call this Weekly Alan Rickman Events, because that's what most of them are. Well, Alan Rickman is going back to Broadway for a theatre production called Seminar. The article is here: http://www.broadway.com/buzz/156916/alan-rickman-to-return-to-broadway-in-theresa-rebecks-seminar/

And this is the Plot Sypnosis:
Four young writers who are thrilled to be participating in a private seminar taught by the brilliant but unpredictable Leonard (Rickman), an international literary legend. But as Leonard deems some students more promising than others, tensions arise. Sex is used as a weapon, alliances are made and broken, and it’s not just the wordplay that turns vicious…

Sex is used as a weapon.
Sex is used as a weapon.
Sex is used as a weapon.
Sex is used as a weapon.
Sex is used as a weapon. Holy shit.

And yes, I did steal the idea of gradually enlarging that part from AlanRickmanDaily.com, but it was a good idea. I'm super excited to see this.

Snape Picture of the Week #20

I've seen this picture on multiple websites... I'm pretty sure it was originally called Fond of Snape. And I have to say, I can't get enough of it. It's just so well-drawn! Or painted- yeah, I'm pretty sure it's painted. But it looks so realistic...

Plus, it's both sweet and sexy. What I wouldn't give to be Lily in this picture...



Snape Products You Should Totally Buy #6

You love Snape's voice, right? Of course you do! We all do... it's one of the things that makes him so amazing. But the voice we all have in our heads when we think of Snape is Alan Rickman's. That man's voice is like rubbing velvet together...

Well, you can listen to his voice for a few hours straight with the audiobook for Return of the Native by Thomas Hardy, narrated by Alan Rickman. I don't even know what the book is about, but I really don't care. It doesn't matter, anyway, because no one in their right mind would be paying attention to the words... Everyone is entranced by his magnificent voice. It's probably narrated by him because it's such a boring story and they wanted to sell more... Trust me, they wouldn't have sold half as many audiobooks of Return of the Native if it weren't for Alan.

You can get it on iTunes or buy it as a CD, and the CD on Amazon is here: http://www.amazon.com/Return-Native-Thomas-Hardy/dp/1572705701

I have it on my iPod, and it's great to listen to while you're going to sleep. That way, you're likely to have dreams about Alan.

Fanfiction Friday #20

I thought I'd mix things up a bit (a tiny bit) this week. The fic I have to share with you is not a Snape fic, but a Galaxy Quest fic about Alexander Dane (who is played by Alan Rickman). Close enough. It's called By Grabthar's Hammer.

But the main reason I'm sharing it is because I wrote it, and I want more people to read it. It's a one-shot (although it's long), and is rated M because of highly sexual situations. All the information is in the Author's Note.

If you like Alan Rickman and Galaxy Quest, you should totally read it. I don't see any reason why you shouldn't... unless you're too young to read sexual stuff.

Three turns of the Tme-Turner ought to do it... And it brings you back to the time that you clicked this link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7129419/1/By_Grabthars_Hammer

Snape Quote of the Week #19

  "...don't see what all the fuss is about, Igor."
  "Severus, you cannot pretend this isn't happening!" Karkaroff's voice sounded anxious and hished, as though keen not to be overheard. "It's been getting clearer and clearer for months. I am becoming seriously concerned, I can't deny it--"
  "Then flee," said Snape's voice curtly. "Flee--I will make your excuses. I, however, am remaining at Hogwarts."
  Snape and Karkaroff came around the corner. Snape had his wand out and was blasting rosebushes apart, his expression most ill-natured. Squeals issued from many of the bushes, and dark shapes emerged from them.
  "Ten points from Ravenclaw, Fawcett!" Snape snarled as a girl ran past him. "And ten points from Hufflepuff too, Stebbins!" as a boy went rushing after her. "And what are you two doing?" he added, catching sight of Harry and Ron on the path ahead. Karkaroff, Harry saw, looked slightly discomposed to see them standing there. His hand went nervously to his goatee, and he began winding it around his finger.
  "We're walking," Ron told Snape shortly. "Not against the law, is it?"
  "Keep walking, then!" Snape snarled, and he brushed past them, his long black cloak billowing behind him. Karkaroff hurried away after Snape. Harry and Ron continued down the path.
  "What's got Karkaroff all worried?" Ron muttered.
  "And since when have he and Snape been on first-name terms?" said Harry slowly.
~Goblet of Fire, Ch. 23 'The Yule Ball'

This is going to be another one of those quotes that I break down and analyze.

The first part is in the film adaptation, and I'm disappointed that they didn't include all of it. But it's also one of the things that I can easily imagine him saying in my head... mostly because it's in a famous Snape remix and I've heard it a lot. But also, this has got to really suck for Snape, because he knows Voldemort's coming back, and he knows he's going to have to go back to being a part-time Death Eater soon... It must have been really stressful. It's a miracle he's sane.

And then when he's blasting apart rosebushes... Only hilarity can ensue from that. I can just imagine some teenagers popping out of the bushes going, "We we'ren't making out I swear!" Lol. And now that I think about it, how can you snog in a rosebush? You'd have to lay inside the bush... but wouldn't that hurt because of the thorns? And why are these people making out in bushes anyway? Why not behind a tree or on a bench? Well, you know I'd ask Snape to snog me in a rosebush... The thorns would be worth it.

So when Snape has been blasting snogging teenagers out of bushes and then suddenly sees Harry and Ron, I bet his first thought is, Are they coming out here to snog too? That's what I would have thought... I have a dirty mind. But actually, I don't ship Harry/Ron and I never will. Ron always struck me as the sort of guy who'd be homophobic. Besides, they're just don't have that kind of bromance. Harry/Draco works because they're enemies, and the person you initially dislike usually ends up with you. And really, I can't see Ron with anyone but Hermione. Except maybe Luna... but definitely not Snape. Because Ron/Snape = Rape.

Anyway, Karkaroff twirling his goatee with his finger automatically makes me think of Jafar from Alladin... Karkaroff could totally be Jafar. If Lucius gives him his snake-head staff thing, they'd practically be the same person.

I guess that's it... But just one more thing. I always love reading the Yule Ball chapter because despite the fact that I've never been to a dance and never have, I'd definitely go to the Yule Ball. I mean, it's much better when you're at mother-effing-Hogwarts! And I would ask Snape... I wouldn't make him dance, though, because I hate to dance and I know he would, too... But if he wanted to, I wouldn't mind.